Men who hate women
Patriarchy benefits men, so they vote for it
Who benefits when laws strip away women’s human rights? Who benefits when legally, women are designated as less than human – as vessels who are not entitled to the same levels of healthcare, economic security, even access to education, as half the population?
The answer is simple: men.
Feminism has, for a long time, been too nervous of stating a simple fact: patriarchy benefits men. Instead, we have assured men not to be scared of feminism, because patriarchy hurts men too. And sure, it is the case that men are harmed by patriarchal expectations that valorise a certain type of masculinity, although women are harmed by it too.
But ultimately, patriarchy benefits men. It’s why it has not ended. It’s why, after hundreds of years of feminism, including of asking nicely – of trying to persuade men that giving up their power would benefit them – men have clung on to it.
These were my thoughts when the Pennsylvania results came in, and confirmed that Trump will indeed be the next American President. Trump is a rapist. E Jean Carroll was vindicated in court. He boasted about sexually harassing women – boasts that we know boosted his support among men, rather than weakened it. And he created the Supreme Court conditions required to overrule Roe vs Wade, stripping women and girls of their human rights in many states, and sending a message to women and girls in the remaining states that their human rights are conditional.
It’s the abortion point I want to deal with first.
When women have their human rights stripped away, it benefits men. Women who don’t have bodily autonomy are at greater risk of poverty, of domestic and sexual abuse, of being excluded from work and education.
I am not sorry if this offends you. I know I have male followers who would look at this and say #notallmen and I believe you when you say you support abortion rights and women’s right to bodily autonomy. But it remains true that all men benefit from patriarchy on some level, and that’s why so many men vote for it.
Men aren’t stupid. They know what they are doing when they designate women as not fully human. They know who will benefit from such a change. When women have fewer choices, it is more dangerous for us. It makes us more vulnerable and more dependent. It limits our lives. And that suits a lot of men down to the ground.
The Trump project is a fascist project. Fascism demands a return to the “natural order”, a world where women are subordinate to patriarchal authority in the home. This means women have no rights over their own body: from pregnancy to domestic abuse. The latter is normalised, even celebrated, in far right trad wife communities which share tips on how husbands can “discipline” their wives.
When women are denied their rights, this gives men more power. Power over women – in the home and in the family. But also power in the public sphere. Fascism and Christian nationalism wants to return women to the domestic sphere. Both movements despise women taking up public space – I’ve read enough Christian nationalist documents to know the contempt in which they hold female politicians and public figures (“childless cat ladies”). Force women out of the public space, and those spaces revert back to belonging to men. Who benefits? Men!
Again, I know there are millions of men in the world who reject what that power means – who love and respect women, who hate the idea of an unequal society and urgently campaign for women’s equality and bodily autonomy. I respect that and of course welcome your solidarity and allyship. But it does not change the fact that men benefit when women have fewer to no rights, and that’s why so many men vote for it.
The longer a man lives in a society that designates women as lesser, the more comfortable they become. Even the good guys.
Men voted for Trump because they see how he gets away with raping and assaulting women, and they want that for themselves. Men voted for Trump, because they have got used in a few years to living in a country where women have fewer rights than men, and they can’t stomach the idea of a female leader. Men voted for Trump, because when women have fewer rights than men, it’s easy to get comfortable with that. Men voted for Trump because all men benefit from patriarchy – and Trump, according to red pill lore, is the ultimate alpha, the victor in the made-up war on men.
Patriarchy benefits men.
And when patriarchy is on the ballot paper, men will vote for it.
That’s what happened in November 2016 and it’s what happened yesterday.
Let’s be honest about it.
Men, you have to give up some of your power for women to be equal and seen as fully human. Too many of you, are simply unwilling to do that.
Obligatory book plug
Want to know more about how the attacks on abortion rights are a far right project designed to return women to the natural order, with the USA as ground zero? I wrote a book just for you.
What I’ve been writing
Ok so the reason I have not written a newsletter since August is because I have been writing something else and that takes up all my free time that was previously spent writing this SubStack.
I have also written a lot of things for work…
Great Replacement & boogaloo: The ideology driving the modern far right
Hundreds of modern slavery victims locked up in England’s prisons
Leaked emails reveal how Africa became ‘primary target’ of anti-LGBTIQ actors, with Soita Khatondi Wepukhulu
Musk’s plan to axe X's block button is a real win for stalkers and abusers
Revealed: Anti-immigrant laws leave 1,000s unable to claim asylum
European Union funds charity that compares abortion to Holocaust, with Soita Khatondi Wepukhulu
Scabies, sexual harassment & racism: inside the UK’s asylum hotels
EU gives anti-abortion group €400k to educate girls on reproductive health
UK troops stationed abroad pay for sex ‘day in, day out’ without sanctions
How men became the hidden victims of military sexual abuse
Buffer Zones are in, but the UK pro-abortion movement cannot rest
What I’m reading
Obviously I have read a lot of books since August!
All fours by Miranda July
Come and get it by Kiley Reid
Where they lie by Claire Coughlan
Listen for the lie, by Amy Tintera
The Helsinki Affair, by Anna Pitoniak
Our American Friend, by Anna Pitoniak
Clickbait by Holly Baxter
The Spoiled Heart by Sunjeev Sahota - this is my book of the year
A Stranger in the family by Jane Casey
The end of summer by Charlotte Philby
Midnight in Vienna by Jane Thynne
One to five of Tana French’s Dublin Murder Squad novels
Julia, The Men, and Heavens, by Sandra Newman
The Searcher by Tana French
The Empusium by Olga Toczurak
The Philosopher’s Pupil by Iris Murdoch
What I’m watching
Again, I’ve watched a lot of things! Saw Lee at the cinema, adored Rivals, catching up on My Brilliant Friend, plus lots of iPlayer films like All About Eve, oh and watched Forever Amber on YouTube.
OK that’s it. It’ll be a while before I write again due to the aforementioned writing project taking up all my time.
NO PASERAN.
I couldn't help thinking about the Gisèle Pelicot case as I was reading your article because it's exposed how deeply entrenched male control over women's bodies remains, even in supposedly progressive societies. On Tuesday I wrote (on Substack) about this as well as how women in the US had the opportunity to take their rightful place as equal framers of the direction of the United States.
I'm finding all of this incredibly hard to process what this means for women and girls. And I'm not American.
The Democrats helped seat Alito and Thomas. The Democrats also had 50 fucking years to codify Roe and chose not to. The Democrats also campaigned for pro forced birth Democrats and they embraced the racist, pro forced birth, anti voting rights Liz Cheney🤮 The Democrats have held power for 26 of the last 32 years. Stop blaming everything on Trump and the GOP. The Democrats are complicit.