On Monday, the Metropolitan police officer David Carrick admitted to dozens of incidents of violence against women. The range of violence was extensive – there were reports of rape, coercive control, domestic abuse, and falsely imprisoning women in cupboards. Some of the incidents described I don’t want to repeat here, they were too horrifying. And along with the horror of the catalogue of offences, is the knowledge that once again the Met failed to protect women.
Carrick was reported to the police on multiple occasions. Reported to the police even before he became an officer, even before he passed his probation. Yet it was not until 2021 that he was finally arrested and charged – and not until this week that he lost his job.
In the wake of the revelations, many familiar sentiments have been trotted out. Bad apples, lessons will be learned, these monsters are not the norm (just frighteningly common, I guess?)
It’s the ‘monster’ tag I want to focus on today. The Home Secretary referred to Carrick’s ‘monstrous’ crimes, and there’s no denying that’s true. But there is some comfort, isn’t there, when we decide that the men who do this are ‘monsters’. Because that makes all the other men, the men who don’t rape and abuse women, the ‘good guys’. Dare I say it, even the ‘heroes’.
Good guys make monsters.
It’s important to note that the person responsible for the violence committed against his victims is Carrick. Rape is the responsibility of the rapist, not the victims.
But in order to commit such horrible crimes for more than 20 years with impunity requires a lot of people to turn a blind eye. To forgive and forget certain behaviours. To choose to disbelieve women, and instead to defend the men who abuse us.
Since Monday, male allies have rightly called out the Carrick case. They have spoken about its horrors and condemned the violence. They have listened to women’s pain and anger and hurt. That’s good. Listening is needed.
And yet, I have seen men calling out Carrick, who I know have closed ranks around their own friends and colleagues who they know are sexual harassers and abusers.
I have sat with men expressing horror at this violence, who have previously flat out defended men accused of sexual misconduct but who just so happen to be a friend.
I’ve seen those same ‘good guys’ who condemn the ‘monster’ refuse to believe women when the accused is another ‘good guy’, instead inferring the women are liars.
I have seen the ‘good guys’ set their jaw in rage at Carrick, pretending that they themselves have not pushed a woman’s boundary, laughed off a friend’s predatory behaviour, or indulged in sexism when it suits them to do so.
These are men who claim allyship when it comes at no cost to them, but who will side with men and the patriarchy when the cost is too dear.
If there are men reading this, and maybe feeling discomfort, I want you to ask yourselves a really serious set of questions. The first is: have I ever behaved in a way that made a woman feel uncomfortable, knowingly? Have I ever pushed that boundary because I thought I could get away with it?
The second is: have I ever excused or minimised allegations against a friend or colleague, because it’s easier to support men than to believe women?
The third is: have I actively excluded or isolated a woman because it benefits me to do so? Have I ever decided that actually, sexism is going to help me in this situation so let’s roll with it – she can take the hit?
If you have done these things, it doesn’t mean you are a bad person or beyond redemption. Patriarchy is gonna patriarchy. Perhaps, though, by acknowledging these issues, we can start to light up the darkness where monstrous crimes flourish.
It’s easy to hate a monster like Carrick now that we know the scale of his crimes. It’s easy to be a good guy when the violence is undeniable. It’s harder to speak out against misogyny and men’s violence when that man is a friend or a colleague or a champion. It’s harder to look at your own behaviour and realise you haven’t always been a good guy.
I get that.
But do you not think that the men who excused and ignored and minimised the most serious of crimes behaviour told themselves the same excuses? That it was just too hard to put women first. That it was just too hard to do the work of being good.
Obligatory book plug
Once I send this newsletter out I have to start doing my PDF proof edits! It’s exciting! It’s exhausting! It’s time to make a pot of tea, roll up my sleeves, and get the sticky notes out…
You can pre-order your copy of Bodies Under Siege from Verso now, ready for publication on 6 June 2023.
What I’m writing
You already know I have written about Carrick, where I reflected on how misogyny in policing is part of wider misogyny in society. The article was quoted by the utterly lovely and searingly incisive Marina Hyde, in the Guardian.
Violent Misogyny in Policing, Violent Misogyny in Society
I promised a big exclusive investigation was coming up this week and I kept that promise, with an expose into the extent of mould in council accommodation.
Shocking Findings by Byline Times Uncover Tip of the Iceberg of Mould Complaints by Council Tenants
My ongoing response to Andrew Tate’s arrest this week included a look at the realities of sex trafficking, including a heartbreaking case study of what happens to women and girls forced into the sex industry via the ‘lover-boy’ method.
‘I Was Covered In Bruises’ The Brutal Reality of Sex Trafficking
I worked with Manasa Narayanan on a feature about migrant homelessness – with lots of insights from on-the-ground interviews and experts such as JCWI, Praxis, and West London Welcome.
Falling Through the Cracks The Migrant People at Risk of Homelessness
And yesterday I reported on a ‘lost in the weeds’ aspect of the High Court’s judgement of the Rwanda Scheme, mainly evidence that the Rwandan immigration department had discriminated against LGBTQ+ and Middle Eastern people seeking asylum.
Fresh Concerns About Risk to LGBTQ+ and Middle Eastern Migrant People in Rwanda
What I’m reading
This week I have been reading the fascinating debut by Tom Crewe The New Life. Gorgeously and sensually written, it explores gay identities and the thinkers and activists exploring new ways to relate as men and women, as sexual beings. It plunges the reader into the foggy 1890s as revolutionary journals and philosophical clubs asked what it could be to live a new life.
The two main protagonists are John Addington, a married man who is gay and desirous of challenging the laws and stigmas that silence and repress homosexual men, and Henry Ellis, a straight man with a specific sexual fetish who is married to a feminist who has relationships with women. The novel is very phallic, in beautiful and deeply sensual prose. Ellis and Addington are writing a book together, communicating via letter, and each chapter switches between their two lives. I am halfway through and it is definitely deserving of all the fantastic reviews.
On a less highbrow note, I read The Moving Finger, and am plodding through a Georgette Heyer as my bedtime book.
Thursday I went to the launch of Rhiannon Lucy-Cosslett’s The Year of the Cat which I am super excited to read. Rhiannon is one of my favourite writers and people, and I know her book is going to mean so much to so many women – as does her fabulous column on negotiating new motherhood. One thing I love about Rhiannon’s column is how she weaves in so many different issues around mothering – from women in prison separated from their babies, to queer mothering, abortion, and grief.
Finally I am slowly and luxuriously reading Amina Cain’s A Horse at Night: On Writing, recommended by my fabulous friend and translator extraordinaire, Rosalind Harvey.
What I’m Watching
No movies this week as most evenings I have been out socialising. I finally finished 30 Rock though and you know who I think is the best, underrated character? JONATHAN.
That’s it for this week! Pray for me as I start the final round of book edits. It’s going to a long couple of days at the desk… but at least I am cosy with my pot of tea and two jumpers on.
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